Hope

Ahh... It's been a long time since i wrote here... So how am i? Good and bad... In Kay Elle pursuing my Advanced Diploma. Seriously, i don't this place deserves to be called "Kay Elle". This is not a good place, unless for shopping, sight-seeing, short stays, vacations, et cetera... Why? Nothing beats home, Penang! *Sighs* i miss my home in Penang... i miss my Dear, my brothers and sisters, Michelle, Mum, Dad, the food, the environment, the cool and quiet nights, the drums, everything!

It's been tiring to wear this mask 24/7... Thank GOD i can still take it off before Him... The only energy i have been running on comes from Him. But, many times, still i 'deliberately' let go of this source and depend on my own. It's like having a nuclear plant, but still using coal-fired plant, to light up an entire metropolis. 

This entire advanced diploma thing has nearly stripped me of my energy. Yeah, i know, there's always GOD. But i have yet to really understand and grab hold of this fact and promise... i don't get to play around, don't get to release everything inside me... i'm afraid with everything welling up inside, it may one day explode. 

The only one i trust enough to pour out everything needs GOD and me to hold her up... Which means, i have to keep anything that is capable of bringing her down away... i'm not complaining about this nor take it as a burden, in fact i'm glad to do this. However, i too need cheering up, i too need encouragement, i too need...... a little rest every now and then. Sometimes i want to be the one who gets the pampering... the one being loved, to have more of it... Yup, i know, i'm being greedy, but does it do any harm at all?

As the days away from home grows, so does my elation goes down... Yes, i love everything around me... It's the circumstances of my position and being that i dislike. 

Arrggh... Too long a time away from home does the mind tricks. i am very very tired... It's been long... really long.....

Burns:

"Even youths grow tired and weary, 

   and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD
   will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
   they will run and not grow weary,
   they will walk and not be faint."    (Isaiah 40:30-31)

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."     (Matthew 11:28-30)