Preparing for War!

Hey! Yup, i'm back again... 

Wassup? Nothing's up... >.<

No, actually, i'm having my 2nd semester exams soon... Therefore this period is called, "the calm before the storm". Heheh, preparing for exams that is. How's it going? Erm, totally not in the mood to study. 101011010010101011101010110101 <~ these are what i see this sem. All 3 subjects have relation to computer and/or programming. But frankly, binary is much simpler than the other stuffs that come with these subjects.

As usual, it is not hard. It depends on how much effort i put in. Well, embarrassingly, i would say a little effort. Yeah, i'm lazy. i need that little spark to get the engine going, just that little interest... *Sighs
Many times (like almost every time), i feel like i'm studying the wrong subject, not so much in interest... What i really like, i'm not sure either. Physics? but i hate maths. Biology? Maybe...

So anyway, back to the topic. 2nd April is my first subject. i'm having my resit paper on the 7th. Yup, resitting a paper sucks. What makes it worse is the subject... Man! Hard to imagine stuffs with maths... I HATE MATHS!!! ( really, who really needs all those stuff?) 

Society, it ruins everything. Education, it is supposed to be learning, not studying for exams, not for that piece of shit paper! Learning is fun, studying is not. Learning done correctly, need not studying. It will imprint itself in the memory forever. 

Speaking of this, it reminds me another thing society has ruined, relationships. Relationships are meant to be built from the bottom up, to last a lifetime, to go through hardships, to pass the 'baptism of fire'. But society has to come along, and destroy it. It came, imposed some unseen and unspoken rules, expectations... Like, 'to make him/her happy, you have to do this, do that...' blah blah blah... i mean, can't we just go through our relationships without having too much expectations and pressure? And then there is this biasing thing. "Men will never get women" and stuff like that. Hey come on! Do you even really understand yourself? For once, i have to speak out. Men too have feelings, we will be hurt too, we too will feel jealous, we have emotions. We just don't voice out. Why? We don't want to burden you with what we have. At least try to hear us out, try seeing things through our eyes too.

Alright, i think i have gone way off topic. So, wrapping it up, i am preparing for my exams. And, yeah, i'm writing here because i'm pretty bored with studying, like i mentioned before...

See you guys/gals later... (that is, if anyone actually reads this thing.)

Hope

Ahh... It's been a long time since i wrote here... So how am i? Good and bad... In Kay Elle pursuing my Advanced Diploma. Seriously, i don't this place deserves to be called "Kay Elle". This is not a good place, unless for shopping, sight-seeing, short stays, vacations, et cetera... Why? Nothing beats home, Penang! *Sighs* i miss my home in Penang... i miss my Dear, my brothers and sisters, Michelle, Mum, Dad, the food, the environment, the cool and quiet nights, the drums, everything!

It's been tiring to wear this mask 24/7... Thank GOD i can still take it off before Him... The only energy i have been running on comes from Him. But, many times, still i 'deliberately' let go of this source and depend on my own. It's like having a nuclear plant, but still using coal-fired plant, to light up an entire metropolis. 

This entire advanced diploma thing has nearly stripped me of my energy. Yeah, i know, there's always GOD. But i have yet to really understand and grab hold of this fact and promise... i don't get to play around, don't get to release everything inside me... i'm afraid with everything welling up inside, it may one day explode. 

The only one i trust enough to pour out everything needs GOD and me to hold her up... Which means, i have to keep anything that is capable of bringing her down away... i'm not complaining about this nor take it as a burden, in fact i'm glad to do this. However, i too need cheering up, i too need encouragement, i too need...... a little rest every now and then. Sometimes i want to be the one who gets the pampering... the one being loved, to have more of it... Yup, i know, i'm being greedy, but does it do any harm at all?

As the days away from home grows, so does my elation goes down... Yes, i love everything around me... It's the circumstances of my position and being that i dislike. 

Arrggh... Too long a time away from home does the mind tricks. i am very very tired... It's been long... really long.....

Burns:

"Even youths grow tired and weary, 

   and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD
   will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
   they will run and not grow weary,
   they will walk and not be faint."    (Isaiah 40:30-31)

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."     (Matthew 11:28-30)