Life in the Fast Lane? NO!

Hey! 我回来了！呵呵，no, it's not going to be totally in Mandarin la...

So anyway, exams started today, for me la... So far so good? Just acceptable la... The bad thing is, i'm down with a flu, and have to carry sick up field (抱病上场）LOL, not if both are correct or not either...

No, my topic isn't going to be about exams. This time i'm talking about FAST! Yup, that's right, fast. Modern humans have come to live life fast. From fast foods, to lifestyles, watching TV, news, internet, driving, business, conversations, work, school, and even keeping fit... People want it FAST! No, not later, IMMEDIATELY. Honestly, i don't understand why... Personally, i prefer to do things slowly, to appreciate the very process of completing it. Ya, this comes with its disadvantages too (all things have their disadvantages), like for instance, doing it too slow may eventually end up with incomplete work. But not doing it too fast either. Learn to smell the roses, appreciate the way things are, take note of how things work, pay attention to the way things end up, love the process as much as the results. Why go so fast and lose so many? We'll end up the same, don't we? Life is beautiful. Everything that comes from the LORD is beautiful, just learn to appreciate things...

Psalm 150

Praise the LORD.

   Praise God in his sanctuary; 

praise him in his mighty heavens. 

Praise him for his acts of power; 

praise him for his surpassing greatness. 

Praise him with the sounding of the trumpet, 

praise him with the harp and lyre, 

praise him with timbrel and dancing, 

praise him with the strings and pipe, 

praise him with the clash of cymbals, 

praise him with resounding cymbals.

Let everything that has breath praise the LORD.

Praise the LORD.

Preparing for War!

Hey! Yup, i'm back again... 

Wassup? Nothing's up... >.<

No, actually, i'm having my 2nd semester exams soon... Therefore this period is called, "the calm before the storm". Heheh, preparing for exams that is. How's it going? Erm, totally not in the mood to study. 101011010010101011101010110101 <~ these are what i see this sem. All 3 subjects have relation to computer and/or programming. But frankly, binary is much simpler than the other stuffs that come with these subjects.

As usual, it is not hard. It depends on how much effort i put in. Well, embarrassingly, i would say a little effort. Yeah, i'm lazy. i need that little spark to get the engine going, just that little interest... *Sighs
Many times (like almost every time), i feel like i'm studying the wrong subject, not so much in interest... What i really like, i'm not sure either. Physics? but i hate maths. Biology? Maybe...

So anyway, back to the topic. 2nd April is my first subject. i'm having my resit paper on the 7th. Yup, resitting a paper sucks. What makes it worse is the subject... Man! Hard to imagine stuffs with maths... I HATE MATHS!!! ( really, who really needs all those stuff?) 

Society, it ruins everything. Education, it is supposed to be learning, not studying for exams, not for that piece of shit paper! Learning is fun, studying is not. Learning done correctly, need not studying. It will imprint itself in the memory forever. 

Speaking of this, it reminds me another thing society has ruined, relationships. Relationships are meant to be built from the bottom up, to last a lifetime, to go through hardships, to pass the 'baptism of fire'. But society has to come along, and destroy it. It came, imposed some unseen and unspoken rules, expectations... Like, 'to make him/her happy, you have to do this, do that...' blah blah blah... i mean, can't we just go through our relationships without having too much expectations and pressure? And then there is this biasing thing. "Men will never get women" and stuff like that. Hey come on! Do you even really understand yourself? For once, i have to speak out. Men too have feelings, we will be hurt too, we too will feel jealous, we have emotions. We just don't voice out. Why? We don't want to burden you with what we have. At least try to hear us out, try seeing things through our eyes too.

Alright, i think i have gone way off topic. So, wrapping it up, i am preparing for my exams. And, yeah, i'm writing here because i'm pretty bored with studying, like i mentioned before...

See you guys/gals later... (that is, if anyone actually reads this thing.)

Hope

Ahh... It's been a long time since i wrote here... So how am i? Good and bad... In Kay Elle pursuing my Advanced Diploma. Seriously, i don't this place deserves to be called "Kay Elle". This is not a good place, unless for shopping, sight-seeing, short stays, vacations, et cetera... Why? Nothing beats home, Penang! *Sighs* i miss my home in Penang... i miss my Dear, my brothers and sisters, Michelle, Mum, Dad, the food, the environment, the cool and quiet nights, the drums, everything!

It's been tiring to wear this mask 24/7... Thank GOD i can still take it off before Him... The only energy i have been running on comes from Him. But, many times, still i 'deliberately' let go of this source and depend on my own. It's like having a nuclear plant, but still using coal-fired plant, to light up an entire metropolis. 

This entire advanced diploma thing has nearly stripped me of my energy. Yeah, i know, there's always GOD. But i have yet to really understand and grab hold of this fact and promise... i don't get to play around, don't get to release everything inside me... i'm afraid with everything welling up inside, it may one day explode. 

The only one i trust enough to pour out everything needs GOD and me to hold her up... Which means, i have to keep anything that is capable of bringing her down away... i'm not complaining about this nor take it as a burden, in fact i'm glad to do this. However, i too need cheering up, i too need encouragement, i too need...... a little rest every now and then. Sometimes i want to be the one who gets the pampering... the one being loved, to have more of it... Yup, i know, i'm being greedy, but does it do any harm at all?

As the days away from home grows, so does my elation goes down... Yes, i love everything around me... It's the circumstances of my position and being that i dislike. 

Arrggh... Too long a time away from home does the mind tricks. i am very very tired... It's been long... really long.....

Burns:

"Even youths grow tired and weary, 

   and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD
   will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
   they will run and not grow weary,
   they will walk and not be faint."    (Isaiah 40:30-31)

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."     (Matthew 11:28-30)

It's Been Long~

17012011

Yup, it's been a long time... Nope, i'm not talking about posting here... It has other meanings...

It's been too long, never in my life that this has been this long... More than 2 months, i can't even remember exactly how long...

Falling down is bad enough, but not being able to stand up again is like.... Injured at the heart, battered, wounded, scathed, et cetera... Never had the chance to stand up properly, and then another strike... For all this time, i faced my problems, did my stuff on the floor... the cold floor... Yet, i have to put on some make up to cover all up. Put on a smile, and meet the people... "Nothing actually. i'm fine...", that was what i said to people...   But, it's not! 

i'm so worn out, the 1st time for so long... The life drained, energy expended, running on practically no fuel... Miraculously, i'm still running on full power... So tired... Physically, mentally, emotionally... Yet, i have to stand up and be strong. i still have to give support, to hold others up... To give something i don't have, not easy... Even if i have some of it, it would be gone before i know i have it... 

When my heart bleeds, there is no one there.... No one would be there... Alone in the darkness... No one i can turn to, no one i can really let down my guard and pour it all out... i never had that special someone that would be there listening, just to listen... No one really gave me that sense of security... Yet, i have to take it all in, put on my smile, and move forward... as if nothing happened... in the dark...

When i did something wrong, without the intention of doing it, i get only...... i cannot retaliate, cannot even speak up for myself... in fear of hurting the other... The punishments, i took it all in... All bows aimed at me, i took the blame... But, others wronged me, the battery i took... No, i can't tell... i won't hurt more already... No one to listen to my pains... 

However, i learned to live this way already... To move forward, never getting up... Although it still hurts, i'm already used to it... This is life, no complains... Take it all in, chin up, face the future... But i still wish for the day all will be fine, the day i will stand up again, the day my heart no longer hurts... 

No, don't bother me... i'm just looking for a channel to pour out... to cry... to say, 'it hurts~~~'... Silly it seems though... No one was there, there was no one...

There is (or are) only the One... He knows... He Knows... He knows... 

i shall wait for Him...and all will be fine when that day comes...

~a burn~

17012011

004815

Of Dream and Dreams

"Where the hell is the Alexanders!!?? They're supposed to make sure this doesn't happen!!"


17082010 - Dreams, are they things that we wish to happen? Or are they events that occur in our subconscious mind while we are asleep? Could they be co-existing? Simple, stupid questions that came to me...


Well, both happened to me today. i won't tell the story. But, when your slumber dreams and your the dreams you wish to happen collide, that's pretty.....


It's so real. Most probably have the same thought.

Here, . . .

Here, . . .


Here i am,
Laying, in my own pool of blood.
Beaten, battered, injured, hurt,
Defeated, loss, pain, weak...


Here i am,
Confused, by the battle i just fought,
Puzzled, surprised, ambushed, disoriented,
By enemies unknown, unseen...


Here i am,
Helplessly beaten down,
Waiting to be pulled up again,
Weakened... "Where are you?"...


Here i am,
Tired, all worn out,
Slowly, gradually slipping away,
into oblivion, into darkness...


Here i am...
Burned to ashes,
Here i am...
Waiting...
Here i am...
i will rise again, phoenix


. . . Just wait for me,
let me rest and recuperate,
let me lick my injuries,
let me be alone,
wait for me,
i will be back,
just wait for me. . .

Shooting!

31052010 - Paiseh... i always procrastinate...


On 16th May, the Youths went for a hike cum shooting. Shooting? No, not that. We shot footages for our Family Camp video. Well, for 1st timers, it was pretty confusing. Some were even quite restricted to the script. Anyway, we miraculously finished shooting the video by 1630 hrs, we started at about 1430 hrs... Haha, we did it about for 2 hours! Thank GOD, and praise Him! Although we had difficulties, like, slippery ground (it was raining), miscommunication, inexperience, low battery, and unexpected circumstances, we pulled through... And, i think we did a marvelous job! Bravo guys! Glory to GOD again!


After the shooting, of course the videos needed editing. Well, Danny S did most of it. He did 85% of all editing in 24 hrs! Walau! Hard to believe leh... i, on the other hand, took 3 days to complete it... Why? Because playing with the video editing software was fun! You can make people speak at different speeds and pitches, and also make the video go backwards... Then, they would speak weirdly... Haha!!!


Anyway, the final result was very... umm... surprising, nice, and touching to some... Again, i have to praise the LORD and give Him thanks... i hope to get a full copy of it soon...

Our lead actor, Alvin!

Behind the scenes, literally...

~a burn~

001652

01062010

hhtp://blitz127.blogspot.com

So long liao...

22052010- It's been a long time since i've updated my blog... It's like, uhh, one month? Maybe even longer... Why so long? i've started my own story, a fictional story, and i've been writing on it. Besides, there's some things to do too...So, i'll give a brief update la...


First of all, my new semester has started! A new academic year, new status (i'm a senior now... old liao~), new college fees bill, new lecturers, new subjects, new notes and books... Haiz, the first day back to college, the first subject, why does it have to be Maths???!!! So sien nia... And of all branches, why do i need to study differentiation???!!! i hate you!!! Humans are so stupid, they make lives so complicated, first politics, then economy, then education, then technology, then everything else! TSK!!! i think of all of GOD's creatures, only humans will make lives difficult for themselves... Idiotic isn't it? So, anyway, the first week is rather boring... My engines haven't warmed up yet, still trying to get into that study mode. Then there is Electronic Instrumentation and Communication (i think that's the correct name), walau eh, very hard to understand leh... Luckily, we still have our humorous Mr. Teh, at least we have a joke every now and then to keep things fresh... According to the lecturers, this semester will be hard, and will involve a lot more theoretical lessons. So, i'll keep this in prayer...


Next, our Youths, or part of it, has formed and started a worship group/team... We trained on singing/voice/whatever it's called, various musical instruments, and most important, on GOD. Yup, we made it a habit to read the Bible daily, pray, and P&W... And, you can see the lives of these young people transforming little by little. GOD, lead our way!


Besides, i had my status changed... Uhh, that will be in the relationship sense? Anyway, i'm still trying to get myself accustomed to this thing... Again, like what my mum said (on this matter), 'Leave it to GOD.' Hmm... we will... 


So, this my brief summary on recent events... i will  have another post on shooting... Whatever la..


~a burn~
http://blitz127.blogspot.com
011132
22052010

Sweet~

26042010- Have you experienced GOD's love before? i don't until recently, that is since a month ago. Though i had experienced His love many times in the past, it wasn't until recently i experience His grace and love almost everyday. How said? Well, it's simple. Reading His words, talking to Him, singing praises, reflecting on His words. All those, magnifies GOD's love greatly, allowing me to experience Him.


By praising and worshiping the LORD, i can remember His love, praise, give thanks, and at times, just enjoy the love. By reading His word, it's as if He's talking to me, encouraging me or teaching me a lesson from the past. By praying, i tell my story, i give thanks, i pray for others. That's how i experience GOD. Besides, just look around, look at nature, that's GOD, you can see His image right there. He's everywhere! He who created the heavens and the earth is worthy of our praise. He who sent His Son is worthy of our thanks. 


GOD, i love you~


~a burn~
163124
28042010
http://blitz127.blogspot.com

So Happy!!!

23042010- Now that everything's clear, i just want to praise GOD. Thank You, LORD!!! Haha~ Actually, feeling so relieved, makes me so happy! Really, just plain elated, that simple. Thank You, LORD!